Monday, September 12, 2016

Giving Up Control

Four days until our family leaves for a mini vacation to Branson.....only four days! I have actually been counting down for the last month! My hubby got the suitcase down and I have little piles of folded laundry sitting around the house, just waiting for me to pack them in the suitcase for our vacation. I am SO ready to leave! I have high expectations for this vacation. a weekend of reading, watching my daughter and nieces have fun at the indoor water park at Grand Country, and spending some quality time with my hubby! I have lists of what needs to be done, what should be packed and in which bags, and I have already picked out some new books that I really want to read while I relax!

I have it all planned out!

I know I'm not the only one who packs way a head of time, has great expectations of what the days ahead will hold for them and their family and drives everyone around them crazy while they are in "preparing mode"...at least I hope I am not the only one who is like this!

Unfortunately when I plan something out it usually does not go the way I have planned it. That NEVER stops me from planning and working out every detail the next time....however it does make me stop and wonder "why" I NEED to plan. its not something I love to do...Its something I HAVE to do, or I get anxious that I will forget something.

Today I woke up thinking "only four more days" and I was getting excited! I got my daughter up and we started school, she was coughing a little bit, but I chalked it up to her allergies acting up and we went about out school day.  It wasn't until later in the day that she started complaining about not feeling good. Her cheeks looked flushed, so we took her temp....and she had one!

Not going to lie.. the 1st thing that entered into my head was "there goes our weekend away" quickly followed by "why does this always happen to us"? It seems that every time I plan something It never goes the way I plan it.

In an effort to make sure she doesn't get worse, I canceled her Ice skating lesson for tomorrow morning, and we are planning on staying indoors until she feels better. I am using Essential Oils on her and in our diffuser in an effort to keep the air clean and ward off anymore ickys floating around.

And I am praying....Praying that she is not getting something more then a cold. Praying that she gets better by Thursday, and praying that if she doesn't get better that our family is not disappointed if we have to miss our weekend away.

But what I am praying for the most...is a Peace...I find comfort in lists and planning. Writing them calms me down. Knowing exactly what will happen, when it will happen, and how it will happen allows me to not be stressed.

Yes.... I know that we cant really control what will happen, or when it will happen, but we can plan for different out comes.

One of my favorite phrases to say is "luck favors the prepared" and lately I have been relying on what "I" have prepared for, more then what God has prepared me for.

I need to be able to let go of my crazy lists, my obsession  with being in control of every detail, and let God be able to prepare me for what He has planned for me.

Its kind of scary to even write that...for someone like me, it is very hard to give up control in certain areas.

Control....that is what this is all about. Me, needing to have control over certain activities that cause me to have stress and anxiety. I use my lists as a way to combat the anxiety, to help me deal with the overwhelming stress and dread I feel when ever I have something big coming up. I always end up having a great time, and I love taking vacations, but the preparing and the stress that comes with it, can sometimes be crippling. I start early, because it will take me at least a week to do everything that has to be done on my lists.

Instead of stressing out, and struggling to keep up with my huge "control list" I need to be seeking God and finding His perfect peace.

The world will not end if I forget to pack a roll of toilet paper ( you know, for that off chance we need some and the hotel we are staying in runs out....yes, this is actually how my mind works).

It will also not end, if I forget to pack wipes, extra socks, or my Ipad...our vacation will go on, as planned, it will not be ruined.

I could look at my daughter not feeling 100% as a freak out moment (lets be honest here, I did kind of freak out for a moment), or I could look at is as God giving me an opportunity to let go of what I think this week is "supposed to look like," and instead, rest in the peace that He knows what my future holds and no matter what I plan...it will NEVER be as GREAT as what He has planned for me.

I think today I will choose His peace :)







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2 comments:

  1. Oh, I hear your cry! I used to be anxious about many things. Philippians 4:6-7 has been my lifeline - Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. I have repeated this over and over and God's peace always comes. Prayed for you right now. Have a blessed day! Margaret

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  2. Those are great Scriptures! I a going to write them out and keep them with me in my purse for when I need a reminder! Thank-you! have a blessed day as well :)

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