Today has been a good day so far. My moms good friend, Gayle, stayed the night sitting up with her, so we could all get some rest. We still ran up through out the night to check on her, but we were able to rest knowing that someone who loved her was watching her...what a blessing that was to us!
Mom was in so much pain, that we had to give her morphine last night, but this morning she was rested and decided that she would like to sit up :)
She is now snuggled warmly into my fathers large,dark blue, leather chair, covered up with a quilted blanket I made her years ago, that is covered in pictures of her grandchildren.
She is surrounded by pictures of our family, cards, items that dad had given to her....things that make her happy and comfortable....things that make her feel loved.
The girls bought her balloons the other day and they are starting to droop, but every time mom sees them, her face lights up with a smile.
She has been calling each of her grandchildren in to the room to tell them how much the mean to her and how dearly she loves them.
It's so sweet to watch her the kids climb into bed with their Memaw/Gugu/Papa (each child has a special name they call her) and snuggle in for a few mins here and there with mom. They will look back on these moments and know how much they were loved.
I am sitting here, in her room..looking at the pictures on the wall, her knick knacks, little reminders through out the room of mine and my sisters' child hood, and each item holds a precious memory for my mom.
Memories and items that will carry on with us after she is gone.
Our days are not guaranteed and going through this process, has made that even more clear to our family...each moment, each breath is precious...each "I love you" will forever be remembered.
And even though this is so hard.....one of the hardest things we will go through...I am thankful for these moments...for the things we get to do for her...even if it's just putting lotion on for her, or grabbing her a diet coke when she is thirsty...sitting in the room so she isn't alone.
Just seeing her sweet smile makes everything seem ok.....even if we know it's not.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I also wouldn't trade these moments with her for the world, and so for now, we are thankful for the good days.