My teenager....oh how I love her.And yet, there are days where I just look at her and say..."Who do you belong to"?
Stop shaking your heads....you have ALL thought or said those words at some point in your child's life.
Those moments when they are sassy, acting out, taking their sweet time to do EVERYTHING, looking at you like you have no clue whats going on (lets be honest, most of the time we don't), staying up till all hours of the night and rubbing it in that you have things to do while they can lay in bed on their phones all day and only come out of hibernation when they smell food being cooked.
Ok its not really rubbing it in when all they are doing is sleeping...but to a mom who has been up for hours, its kind of feels like it.
Yeah, we have all been there.
I was reminded as to why I have to make her do something...even if I get the glare from the bathroom, as she slooooooooooly closes the door to start getting dressed for the day.1st off...she needs sunlight.
Even though I know she likes to think of herself as a bat hanging in a cave that only comes out for food and to stay up all night flying around the neighborhood (I jest).
2nd...she needs to be responsible for her actions.
You stay up till 4am...you still have chores to do and a dog to take care of.
OK this might have alarmed some of you...take a deep breath and repeat after me....it will NOT kill your sleep deprived teenager to get out of bed and walk THEIR dog. They may act and sound like it will...but I promise you, they wont actually die.
3rd...and here's the kicker....they need rules and boundaries just as much as a toddler does. Maybe even more so.
Our children are being bombarded by the world of what they need to do to be cool ( do they even say cool anymore, uggh I am so old), how to dress, how to act, how to attract people...and the list goes on and on.
Its our job to make sure that our teens are ready to face this world, and how will they ever learn, if we do not expect them to be the best that they can be.
By all rights...I have an AMAZING daughter. She is wonderful, smart, a joy to be around, and we are blessed she is ours....and she is also a TEEN.
Need I say more??
There are going to be bad days, there are going to be moments of frustration on both sides, there will be tears, and yelling, and slamming of doors (I was a teen too once)...and that's OK.
As long as she know she is loved, and that we are always here for her no matter what.
And how does she know this you might ask....She know it by the way we expect her to behave, (you can be mad all you want, but you will speak with respect when talking to an adult), in the way we set boundaries for her (no you can not watch that, because it does not hold up to what we believe in) She know it because we MAKE her get out of the house and do fun things with us, because we ENJOY being around her.Everyone will survive the teen years...We however, want to Thrive during them.
If you have met our daughter, you know just how warm hearted she is. She has the sweetest heart, and will do anything to help you. We want her to be an adult with those same traits, and as long as we keep pulling her close, and not letting her "teen self" become the center of our home, she will be.
Before you get upset, I am not saying we shouldn't let them be teens, we should, and we do allow our daughter to sleep in on occasion...but we also expect her to take care of her responsibilities.
She is allowed to have blah/grumpy days (cause you know us adults have them as well),she has days where she lays around in pj's with her IPAD on the couch covered in blankets. We let her stay up (usually on Fridays) and sleep in late.
Its all about balance and moderation.
Make a plan, stick to it, involve them as much as possible (even if they don't want to be involved), set up boundaries, and don't be afraid to stick to them, and most importantly tell them you love and believe in them often.
Let them fly....but hold tight to the strings for a little while longer.
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