Making Time 4 Home

Our day started off like any other day.....me rolling out of bed as my dear husband yelling "get out of bed, I'm going to be late for work!" As I run to my daughters room, throwing clothes on and searching for my keys at the same time, I realize that I can only find one shoe....seriously people, how on earth does a 35 year old lose one shoe!!! isn't that something a toddler does??? we finally make it out the door and into the car (with me barefoot) and drop the hubby off for work with 3 minutes to spare ( yay), make my way home and rush around and start to get my daughter dressed and ready for the day! We were supposed to be out the door by 9am, and on our way to see my mom  in St. Peters, HOWEVER......9am comes and goes, 9:15..... 9:20..... 9:30 and we are finally walking out the door!! In the rush of sleeping late, and running around like a mad women, chasing her little crazy chick around the house, I forgot to feed us......Thank God for Mcdonalds!...

Grief comes in stages.....denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Seems like there would be a lot more for something that impacts our life so much, but no, there are only five stages. When my father passed away (2 years in December) I started with denial, skipped anger (that came later), and went straight to bargaining. I prayed...I BEGGED...and I bargained with God to save my father. As the days we spent in the ICU turned to weeks, and my fathers pain increased, we knew that he was only going to be with us a little while longer. I knew what was coming,That he was dying, and that it was what was best for him, but I never accepted that I knew that! It felt so wrong to say "hes going to a better place" or "I know its his time". It felt like I was giving up on him, no longer praying for his healing, but that God would ease his pain and take him gently to the other side. I felt like I was abandoning  him. Not that he was alone,...

I blinked….that’s  all I did, nothing special……just a blink. And 10 years were GONE! My baby who was so small and helpless is now a beautiful little girl, so curious about the world around her. Wanting to try everything (except food) new! She wants to explore, to help others, to be something great! And all I want her to do, is sit on my lap and let me hold her for just one minute longer, to whisper I love you and hear her sweet voice say it back to me. I want to re-watch every moment of her life…to be able to see her learn to walk, hear her 1 st words again, to just be able to recapture her early years! While I know that what I want is unattainable, I am realizing that it will happen again all too soon.   I will blink and she will be graduating high school, learning to drive, finding love, getting married, and having her own family.  It’s all just a Blink away! I can’t change it, no matter how hard I try. What I can change is ...

   Sunday night and my usual panic has set in. There is a HUGE list of stuff that needs to be done before Monday morning, and I am no where near being done. Laundry to be folded and put away, dishes need to be washed, lunches made for the hubby and I still haven't went over this weeks school work for my daughter.  I feel like hiding in my room with some ice cream and turning on my favorite show and just escaping...it would be alright, just this once.....right???? Everyone would understand if I took a much needed mommy "panic" break....I mean after all my worlds will not come crashing down around me if the laundry doesn't get put away! OK,  so the world wont crash around me...but it will be a lot more difficult for me in the morning when I wake up to a messy kitchen/school area. I will be grumpy and discontent as I scrub dishes while working on a History lesson plan,  and more then likely I will be so rushed cleaning and prepping food that I...